A Dream Deferred
by Damion Starr
Summary: What happens to a dream deferred? Slash, Shepford


A Dream Deferred

Author's Note: Inspired, oddly enough, by my boring, menopausal English teacher, because we're reading "A Raisin In The Sun", and it had this 'lil poem at the beginning, and I figured I'd better write it down because: A.) Most of my fanfics are inspired by quotes, poems, lyrics, etc., and B.) it was better than listening to her. Cheers! (Told from Shep's POV.)

Disclaimer: SGA is not mine...now I'm sad...

"What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?...Or does it explode?"

Langston Hughes

Okay, I know this is wrong, but it feels so God damn good.

I'm pinned between him and the wall of Puddle Jumper 3. The full length of his body is pressed against me, with his hips ginding urgently into my own. His lips, oh, my God, his full, soft, delicious, absolutely intoxicating lips are devouring mine. One of his hands grips my hair fiercely, while the other digs into the small of my back. My hands, I'm not sure what to do with. The tight, honey skinned body undulating against my own has turned my brain to mush.

His mouth breaks from mine and moves down to my neck. My head falls back against the Jumper wall, my swollen lips parted and eyes heavy-lidded. The only sounds are our gasping breaths and the muffled talking of the scientists who are just outside in the Jumper Bay.

"Aiden," I moan quietly.

"-Major!" I blink, coming out of my stupor...to find everyone in the meeting room staring at me, including Aiden Ford, who is sitting, as usual, on my right. My face is on fire, but, God, please don't let it be red. "Are you alright?" Elizabeth asks, genuine concern on her face.

"Yeah," I respond with a shrug and a nod.

"Then you'd be okay with what we just discussed?"

Oh, you sneaky bitch. Okay, it's gotta be in here somewhere. Think, Sheppard, think! What's the right answer?! "Yes, of course,"

"Good," She's smiling. Why is she smiling? "Then John and Lt. Ford will be on night watch tonight,"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO! God dammit! SHIT! FUCK! Aw, crap! That's what you get for dozing off in a meeting, Sheppard, you dumb fuck! This is just fan-damn-tastic. Now, I have to spend the whole night with Aiden Ford, THE Aiden Ford, the one I've been fantasizing about for two months. Five bucks says I don't make the night without jumping him.

Oh, God, I am so dead.

"Evening, sir," Please stop smiling, Ford, or I might not be able to keep my hands off you.

"Evening," I pull a chair up next to his and sit down, looking out into the empty Embarkation Room. He hands me a cup of steaming hot coffee. "Thanks," I blow on it, then take a sip. It's just how I like it. Dammit! Another reason to love him. "What's with the cards?" I gesture with my chin to the deck of cards on the console.

"I firgured we could use them to amuse ourselves," He set down his cup, picked up the cards, and began to shuffle them. "So, what's your game? War, Bullshit, Poker, Strip Poker...?"

Wait, STRIP POKER?! Oh, God, if he knew what was going through my head right now. Please, don't tempt me, Aiden.

"Heh, Strip Poker? Yeah, like you could beat me at Strip Poker," Smooth, Sheppard, velvety smooth.

"Is that a challenge?" Shit, he's smiling again.

"No, it's a matter of fact. I happen to be a champion at Strip Poker," Complete bullshit. I've played five times in my entire life. I did okay.

"I'd say that's a challenge," He sits on the floor. "You're on," I sit across from him as he begins to deal the cards. No going back now.

First hand, off go his shoes.

Second hand, I lose my shoes.

Third hand, he loses his socks.

Forth hand, I lose my socks.

Okay, we're running out of mundane clothing, now.

"Looks like you lose your shirt," I sneer. Oh, God, I sounded excited, didn't I? Please, tell me I didn't sound excited.

"Aw, man," He throws down his cards and pouts, but there's a gleam in his eye. You saw it, didn't you? Yeah, it was there, it wasn't just me. "Fine," He heaves a weighty sigh, then, with agonizing, _tormenting _slowness, pulls his shirt up over his head.

I think I stop breathing, and all I hear is my heart pounding in my ears.

Somehow, my dreams were always correct in how looked with his shirt off. My eyes take in his flat abs, which bare the slightest traces of a six-pack, smooth chest, and well-sculpted, but still slender, arms. His skin is absolutely flawless, save for a stark white scar ripped across his rib cage, and calls out to be felt, caressed, licked, bit, teased, touched and tasted.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

I could lose. It would be so easy...but no, I had to be Mr. Big Shot, Mr. Strip Poker Champion. I can't lose. He'd never let me live it down. Frick, how do I get myself into these things?!

"And there go your pants,"

Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod, NO! He's doing it, he's actually taking his pants off. Oh, shit, now Little John's taking an interest in things. Go away, you little shit! You've caused me enough grief for a lifetime! God, of all people, it had to be Aiden. I just had to be attracted to Aiden. He's so cool, and fun to be around. He doesn't make me feel...old.

"You are good at this," Aiden comments appreciatively, sitting across from me in his plain, light blue boxers. His legs are like the rest of him, well-exercised, slim, strong, and have been wrapped around me in many a fantasy...like the one that's surfacing right now, egads. "-John?" I blink. 'John'? He called me 'John'? He's never called me 'John' before. At least, not in real life. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I add after a moment: "-Aiden, why?"

He shrugs. "I dunno, you just seem a little out of it today,"

"I just haven't been sleeping well," I confess, God knows why.

"Wanna talk about it?" He keeps one eye on me, and one eye on the cards he's dealing.

"Nah,"

"Aw, come on. It might make you feel better," He offers, genuinely concerned.

I stare at him for a moment, straight into those heartstopping, bottomless ebony orbs that have haunted my every waking, and sleeping, hour, and I know I can trust him. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah, sure," He answers eagerly.

"I've kinda...I'm a little...attracted to somebody," I finally pour my heart out, without actually pouring my heart out.

"Really? Who?" His eyebrows go up a little.

"I'm not telling you!" I blurt out, a bit too indignantly. Hurt flashes over his handsome features. "I'm sorry, I just..." What do I tell him? 'I'm sorry, I just fantasize about making hot, passionate love to you every night, and that's why I can't sleep.'?

"It's okay," He waves it off. "Don't worry about it. Let's just get back to the game," You are absolutely perfect. I think that I lo- "Looks like you lose your shirt," Shit. He's right. Dammit.

"Dammit," I throw down my cards, but I can't help but smile when he laughs in childish delight. "Fine," I imitate his act when removing my own shirt. "There, happy?"

"Extremely," He beams at me, and I can't help but smile back.

When I hand him my cards, our fingers touch, and something happens. Time stands still. Electricity coarses through my body, sent through my skin via his fingertips. Our gazes lock, and suddenly I feel like we can hear each others' thoughts. Suddenly, I feel like, he knows.

Then, the moment passes. The contact breaks, I'm left alone in my head, and we divert our eyes. My face is probably bright red. Don't look at him, just don't look. You can hear him shuffling the cards, so you know what he's doing, so you don't have to- You looked, you dumbass!

Yes, I look. He's staring intently at the cards in his hands as he shuffles them. His tongue darts out and swipes across his lips, wetting them, then disappears again. His lips are left glistening in the low light, so inviting, so inticing, so-

NO!

Fuck. Too late. That did me in. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

In a flash, he's on his back, I've straddled his hips, and I'm plundering his mouth. Shit! Oh, God, he's gonna punch me, or scream rape, or kiss me-

Wait, WHAT?!

He's kissing me! Oh, my god, he's kissing me! Aiden Ford, the object of my desires, is kissing me! YES!

"Wait," I break the kiss. What the hell are you doing?! You been waiting for this for a long time, don't blow it! "What are you doing?"

He stares at me for a moment. "I believe I'm kissing you,"

"Yes, I know that, but why?" Okay, this really isn't a question you should be asking when you can feel the guy's erection on yours.

"Because I'm attracted to you, too, John," He answers seriously.

I'm dreaming, that's it, this is another dream, I'm gonna wake up in my quarters, alone, save for Little John, who'll just be begging for some company, and-

Oh, God, that feels good. Okay, maybe this isn't a dream.

"This isn't a dream, John," Well, if he says so. "Now, stop thinking and kiss me," Whatever you say.

"Whatever you say, Aiden,"


End file.
